I often hear women around me lamenting the fact that they don’t currently have a boyfriend. And while it’s certainly natural to miss having a guy around who can carry the groceries to your two story walk-up while you sip a margarita, I don’t think anyone should have to settle for some random loser simply because they’re lonely.
Personally, when I have the urge to snuggle up to something big and warm, I wrap my arms around my siberian husky. Here’s a few reasons why you should consider the benefits of pet ownership over man ownership.
Dogs do not play games with you - except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
They won’t spend all of their time telling you that it’s about “the chase” and then disappear when you take too long to call them back.
Dogs are happy with any movie you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you’re together.
They don’t know the difference between Citizen Kane and The Goonies and are more than happy to let you use them as a furry pillow.
Gorgeous dogs don’t know they’re gorgeous.
While they may be drawn to reflective surfaces in a “Woah! When did that other dog get here?” kind of way, they will not feel the need to use up all your hot water and expensive shampoo every morning.
The worst social disease you can get from a dog is fleas. (OK, the worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there’s a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
Try curing the clap with a flea bath and let me know how that works out for you.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Particularly the ones who smell bad and eat anything you leave laying out.
Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
They see absolutely nothing wrong with that day old bologna and egg sandwich you were just going to throw out.
Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
They sympathize with a need for extra hair in colder months.
Dogs are unlikely to roll over and lose consciousness immediately following intense play.
They’ll even listen to you talk about your feelings after.